Mind Your Manners

For the past 9 months, I have had some pretty crazy things said to & about me.  I feel like people should know better, especially since I come from such a polite/Southern culture.  Apparently not.  Nothing has happened too recently, but I started thinking that maybe I should make a post about them.  I get emails from The Knot all the time about the "(insert #) best/worst (insert anything wedding-related)."  I have gotten one called "13 Comebacks to Rude Wedding Questions," but I can't believe that I haven't gotten one called "10 Rudest Things People Say To Engaged Women" by now!  So instead, I'll just share a few & hopefully get some laughs (or AMENs) along the way :)

**I just want to say...the only people that these questions don't bother me from are kids!  So if your child has asked me any of these questions, please don't think that it's directed at you because it's not rude coming from them (they're kids!) & I don't mind answering them at all.**

1. "Aren't you a little young to be getting married?"

I've had everyone from a female employee in a wedding dress store to a male college professor say this to me. At some point, you've just got to be like "haters gon' hate."  Enough said on this topic.

2. "Yeah, I was about your age when I got married...the first time."

What the heck? Way to put a huge negative cloud over us!  Just because you rushed into something & got divorced doesn't mean we will.  Every relationship is different & we are wholly committed to making ours work & making it work well.   

3. "When are you having kids?"

I've also heard another variation said to Anthony recently by a woman that I didn't even know: "When are you gonna give your momma some grand-babies?!" I wanted to be like..."lady if I don't talk to you at least once a month then my uterus is none of your business!" & I don't see why people are so obsessed with us having kids, clearly we are "too young to get married," so shouldn't we be WAY too young to have children?!  I think I've already ranted on this issue enough on previous posts & pretty much every form of social media, so moving on...

4. "15 months is an awfully long time to be engaged."

Yes, it is a long time.  A year & a quarter to be exact.  But in case anyone didn't know, I am planning this wedding completely on my own.  I have a hand in every little detail (no wedding planner here besides my big binder!) & am making a lot of things for the wedding myself.  I am also doing this while going to school (& field experience) full-time, working part-time & volunteering at church.  I want every detail to be perfect & the whole day to be magical for both us & the people that get to share this special time with us.  You only get married once!  Like they say, Rome wasn't built in a day (or even a year, which most people consider to be long enough or too long for an engagement).

5. "Am I invited to your wedding?"

Normally, this disguised as "I'd love to be able to see the big day!"  Still rude nonetheless.  I don't think that a lot of people understand how expensive a wedding actually is & that it's not just throwing the party together that costs money.  The people getting married have to pay a set rate or base-cost for most things (which is already a lot...more than I care to think about), then extra for food, place settings, chairs, etc. per person.  There are so many people that we need to invite between both of our families, church family, & friends.  We also have a very strict & small number of people we can invite, so hearing this question is basically like listening to nails on a chalkboard for me.  If we can't invite them, it makes me feel guilty/sad because I wish we could have absolutely everyone there.  

6. "Is your ring real?"

Believe it or not, I have also gotten this same sentiment as "I thought that was fake!"  I don't know what people hope to accomplish by asking this because if it is real, the person is offended that you asked & if it's not, they're either A. embarrassed that people think it is & maybe admit it or B. just pretend that it's real & are still quietly embarrassed.  It seems like a lose-lose situation to me.  Sometimes people ask or try to guess how much it cost, too.  That may be even ruder!  I don't know because it's none of my business, & if it's none of mine then it's definitely none of yours!  

It's ironic that I'm writing this today because my brother-in-law Andrew emailed me this picture this morning :)  I took this photo with his wicked awesome new camera before he left for Italy & have been dying to see it.  Definitely the best picture that I've gotten of my ring, by far.

7. "So, you're still going to have a year of college after you get married?"

Yes, I will have one semester left of classes & one semester of student-teaching (which is basically like working a full-time job).  It has been done before.  Even though I know it will probably be a lot to take on, this is my choice, & I feel confident that I will be able to handle it.

8. "Oh you have to have/do (x, y, z) for your wedding."

No, actually I don't.  The only people that get a say in the wedding besides me is Anthony, my parents, his parents & sometimes the wedding party.  Other than that, even the smallest detail isn't up to anyone else because it's no one else's day.  I am always open to suggestions, but when people start making demands or telling me that I "have" to do something, chances are I don't even listen to what they say.

9. "That's such a great idea!  Do you care if I borrow/steal it?"

Yes, of course I care!  I am pouring so much time, energy & creativity into this wedding & my ideas should be mine alone to keep.  Part of me regrets posting so many things on Pinterest or even on this blog because when I  hear of or see other people (even strangers) doing the same things (or see that they're re-pinning practically every wedding thing that I post), I get a little jealous inside.   I want this wedding to be one-of-a-kind for me & Anthony, to perfectly reflect our personalities & relationship.  That's not the kind of thing that people should just be able to take & stick directly into their wedding.  

10. "Can I see your wedding dress?"

Nope...if I haven't offered to show it to you, you can't.  I want the dress to be a surprise to everyone, especially Anthony (even my mom almost let one of the major details of the dress slip in front of him the other night.  Luckily, he wasn't listening).  It's a very special & private thing, & like I was saying above, this is one thing that I definitely do not want to be copied.  I made sure not to pin a picture of it, too!  If you're at our wedding, you'll see it then & if we aren't able to invite you (see #5), then I promise I will be bursting at the seams to post pictures on Facebook!

Recent Inspirations:

In AWANAs last night, I was teaching the girls to make friendship bracelets...so I decided to make an example one in our colors :)

While I was in WalMart getting supplies for the bracelets, I passed the card isle & couldn't resist snapping a picture of all the wedding gift bags.  They're all so precious!!